Monica: How's it going?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, except I broke up with Roger.All: Awww.
Phoebe: Yeah, right.
All: Aaawwwwww!!
Rachel: What happened?
Phoebe: I don't know, I mean, he's a good person, and he can be really sweet, and in some ways I think he is so right for me, it's just... I hate that guy!
Closing Credits
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's. Phoebe is reading the paper and Joey enters.]Phoebe: Hey, Joey. What's going on?
Joey: Clear the tracks for the boobie payback express. Next stop: Rachel Green. (He goes into the bathroom. We hear a scream and he comes out, closely followed by Monica in a towel)Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Joey: Sorry. Wrong boobies.
(He leaves. Cut to Monica entering Chandler and Joey's apartment. She sneaks up to the shower door)Monica: Hello, Joey.
(She whips back the curtain to reveal Joey's dad)Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)End________________________________________114 The One With the Candy Hearts
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]Joey: I'm tellin' you Ross, she wants you.Ross: She barely knows me. We just live in the same building.Chandler: Any contact?
Ross: She lent me an egg once.
Joey: You're in!
Ross: Aw, right.
Woman: Hi, Ross.
Ross: Hey. (stutters something incoherent)Chandler: Come on, Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, ok? The Rachel thing's not happening, your ex-wife is a lesbian—I don't think we need a third...Joey: Excuse me, could we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks.Ross: An egg?
Joey: Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, "Here's your egg back, I'm returning your egg."Chandler: I think it's winning.
Ross: I think it's insane.
Chandler: She'll love it. Go with the egg, my friend.(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)Joey: Think it'll work?
Chandler: No, it's suicide. The man's got an egg.Opening Credits
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Phoebe, Joey, Chandler are there. Ross is still talking to the beautiful woman.]Monica: You can not do this.
Rachel: Do what, do what?
Monica: Roger wants to take her out tomorrow night.Rachel: No! Phoebes! Don't you remember why you dumped the guy?
Phoebe: 'Cause he was creepy, and mean, and a little frightening... alright, still, it's nice to have a date on Valentine's Day!
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.Rachel: Well, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Joey: Actually, tomorrow night kinda depends on how tonight goes.Chandler: Oh, uh, listen, about tonight...Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
